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Glen

Conclusion to help protect, develop, teach and encourage your K-6 kids as they move into a dangerous and confusing World.

 K-6 Parenting-2

Continued from K-6 Parenting

K-6 Parenting-Your Friends and Theirs:

As important as choosing activities is choosing friends.  Your children will use the same judgment you use to choose your friends.  If you choose people because of perceived social status, power, money, or how they can benefit you...so will your kids.  If you choose people because they share the core values you live and want your children to live, so will your kids.  Even if your kids are great choosers of friends, you must get to know those kids and their parents.  No matter how sweet the neighbor kids seem, if their parents don't share the right values, if they don't closely watch their kids, if they have habits you don't want your kids to learn...you're allowing that into your children's lives.  Take a look at our Child Personal Safety pages for more information.

K-6 Parenting and Motivation:

Many parents give their kids allowances to help them learn how to manage money and to save.  This is great!  Money can also be used as a motivator for the child to learn valuable life lessons.  For instance, the allowance can be linked to chores to be done regularly, teaching that you get what you earn in life.  Allowance can be restricted for disobedience, teaching that there is a price to not following life's rules.  More money can be made available to the kid who does more than their assigned chores, teaching that there are rewards in life for going the extra mile.  Instead of punishing bad grades, how about paying for good grades, teaching that there is a relationship between education and income?  Finally, paying older kids for doing a book report during summer on a book you feel would help them in life can be very effective at getting the knowledge into their noggins and have them like it.

K-6 Parenting and Failure:

This item, strangely, is one of the most important elements of k-6 child development.  It will determine your children's approach to the rest of their lives.  Will try and fail and try again, or do they feel failure is proof they shouldn't have tried.  Only you, the parent, can decide.  When life bucks you off, do you dust yourself off and get back on the horse?  When you fail them, do you ask them to forgive you or just defend yourself?  If you handle failure correctly, you're in a position to teach them about it.  When they try and fail, encourage them to adjust their approach and try again.  When they fail you, lovingly let them know how their failure affected you, but how important they are to you and how you know they can do better.  If you have to restrict them or give them time-outs because they haven't acknowledged a wrong they did, tell them something like this, "Because I love you, it's important to me that you learn this so it won't hurt you in the future, that's why I want you to ____ and think about ____ .  I'll tell you when the time is over."  Once they recognize their failure, forgive them and encourage them.  Always praise their efforts even if they result in failures.  When they succeed, make a big deal about it, especially if it's after failed attempts.  There is no room in your relationship for intimidating, belittling or making fun of your kid's failure.  This destroys your relationship and makes them feel like there's no reason to try.  No matter what is going on, you should always make sure your kids know this...there isn't anyone in the World that you think is more important than them...your love is unconditional.  This way, when your children fail, you can use it as an opportunity to build them up and make them stronger and better able to handle what's coming next in life.  

Finally, when I mentioned you failing, I used the word "when", not "if."  You will fail...often.  Some failures will be minor...others will have huge consequences.  Welcome to humanity.  Forgive yourself, learn from it, and get back on the horse.  If you need help with this or any other area of K-6 parenting, I can't recommend any better place for help than God.  He designed you and your kids...He can help.  If you want His help, click on Help Me God.

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