I'm sure many who have had a loved one molested would be angry that a website that helps sexual abuse victims recover also covers recovery for the sex offenders, themselves. If you came here to find help to quit molesting, you already know the sex offender is a victim, too. I'm not excusing your behavior...or mine, during my alcoholic years in my teens and early 20's. I am saying there is hope. The popular notion that you can't get help and quit is wrong...I quit over 25 years ago. The question is, how important is it for you to quit? We'll cover the different types and symptoms of a sexual predator, pedophile therapy, and answer the question most pedophiles ask themselves, "Does God forgive molesters?"
Many have asked what the root cause of a sex offender is. Some have speculated that, at an early age, they were molested, which skewed their sense of reality. I was molested as a child, though I had no reference point to classify it at the time. Still, I know a lot of people who were molested who didn't become sex offenders of any kind. Here are some top selling books on therapy for pedophiles and other sexual abusers. I suspect there are many sex offenders who were not molested as children, so, I don't think there is a cause-effect relationship. The biggest cause I can point to is sexual addiction...an imprisoning and accelerating dependence on more exotic and intense sexual experiences. For more sexual addiction information and a self-test, visit our pages Addiction and Sex and Signs of Sexual Addiction. As the sexual addiction advances, the addict seeks ever more bizarre and forbidden forms of sexual expression, literally altering the sex drive from normal to the new behavior. Some become exhibitionists and shock others with a sudden flashing of nudity. Others turn to animals and inanimate objects. Some grope others in very public settings. Still others do so in private. Some become peeping Tom's. All of these have the potential to escalate into more serious sexual offenses, like child molestation and rape. We're focusing here on pedophiles, habitual child molesters, but the solutions we'll offer can help anyone with a sexual addiction. The earlier you get help the better, because every sexual action you take reinforces your addiction, adding one more lock to your prison.
A sexual predator is someone who has moved beyond imagination or experimentation and embraced their new sexual behavior as normal. They've convinced themselves that, because it gives them pleasure, their victim must enjoy it, too. Because of this, the normal inhibitions about sex and children are gone. Fortunately, for me, when I started thinking this way in my early 20's, it scared me into stopping before I moved beyond a few attempts at looking and touching. I could see where it would lead. If you wanted a definition of a pedophile I would say, "A pedophile is someone who has turned this corner and embraced sex with children as normal for them." Their sex drive will compel them to pursue sex with children as if it were normal unless something causes them to purposely choose a different course and cut off all opportunities to return. This is why pedophiles claim they're showing love to children and don't seem to see the harm they're doing. The addiction has escalated to the point that they feel it is a proper way to show love. This is the point where it's most dangerous.
Once a pedophile reaches the point where they feel they're showing love, a very dangerous situation arises every time a child rejects them, or someone tries to stop them. Just like many rejected lovers, many pedophiles won't stop. They may escalate and add violent force to the rape, murder the child, murder the whole family of the child...anything to get their pent up desire met. Often, once force is used, even in the case of murder, the sex drive gets attached to that behavior and the molester can't achieve sexual satisfaction without the violence. If you find yourself attracted to children but haven't yet moved into these extreme behaviors, get help to get it stopped now. It isn't just curiosity...this is where you're headed. Stop it now!
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