Continued from Sexual Abuse Recovery-Freeing The Hostage
Putting Victimhood Behind You:
"Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it." Helen Keller
We don't have enough room in this article do discuss why our minds work this way, so, please accept these two facts: 1. The more we repeat something in our minds, the stronger the memory (like memorizing). 2. The stronger the emotion attached to a memory, the stronger the memory (that's why they use sex to advertise products). Unfortunately, this works against us when it comes to sexual abuse. The emotions are so strong, the memories keep bombarding us and making us relive the trauma whether we're awake or asleep. Since our minds can't distinguish between a real event and an imagined one, we relive the trauma every time we remember it. Because the trauma was sexual abuse, attempts at normal sexual behavior often trigger memories of the abuse, making it difficult, at best, to enjoy sexual activity. This is why some sexual abuse victims have to be sexually abstinent for 1-2 years until they get control of their thoughts. A loving spouse will understand, once they know that insisting on sex causes you to feel raped all over again. It's this mental cycle that locks many abuse survivors into almost permanent victimhood, holding themselves and their loved ones hostage to traumatic events that happened years before.
The good news is, you have the key to free yourself and your loved ones. You don't have to be hostages to the sick acts of creeps from the past. The key is to take control of your thoughts. Every time the bad thoughts come in, chase them out with good thoughts about loving and peaceful and beautiful things. Don't allow one thought to remain unanswered. Don't ever allow yourself to dwell on those evil images and painful emotions. Collect favorite memories of places or people. Watch and read only stories with good endings. Make a photo album of positive images to combat the negative ones. This is going to be one of the hardest and longest battles you've ever fought...but you can win! You'll have some relief from the flashbacks and emotions within about a month if you stick with it. Depending on how severe your abuse was, in a year or two, by persisting in managing your thoughts, your life will be almost back to normal, with occasional memories carrying very weak emotional tags. One day, you'll have a memory and wonder, "Where did that come from? I don't remember the last time I thought about that."
Now, you have a way, not just to face your abuse and deal with it, but to leave it behind you and move on to a new life. I want to warn you, If you're receiving treatment from a licensed professional, consult them before making any changes. I'm just someone with no formal training on the subject, who's been through trauma and helped others for around 20 years. From my experience, though, I want you to know, you now have the key to unlock your suffering and free your loved ones from being sexual abuse hostages. Are you ready to move on?
I want you to know there is someone who can help, who loves you and wants only the best for you. That someone is God. If you want help from God, just click on Help Me God.
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